Really her farting. But the vibrator was annoying too.
Nympho? Meh…
It’d be like 2 in the damn morning and I’d hear biiiizzzz.
She had this cheap looking white vibrator, and when she couldn’t sleep, she’d go crazy with the damn thing. When she would reach orgasm, she’d fart. Fine, whatever…But it was loud. The whole thing was.
The orgasm. I can only describe it as something that looked really painful. Like being tazed maybe? Then immediately immobilizing, followed by a deep sleep. Or a dump. Literally a race to the bathroom to drop one.
On a side tangent. She loved pooping. When I’d visit her at college, I’d have to use the “co-ed” facilities. But everyone on her hall was female. So I always thought it’d be a weird thing to use the bathroom with females. To my surprise none of them ever minded me being in there, showering, pooping, brushing my teeth, fucking. They all did the same things with their others. This wasn’t some adolescentally imagined porkys revenge, peeping through a hole in the wall or anything so there was never anything outside of mostly clothed interactions, or towel covered hello’s exchanged.
The bathroom sharing. It was all very….cordial, cohesive even. Minus my girlfriend at the time. She made it awful. I’d be pooping and she’d know it. And she’d grab a stall right beside me and talk me through her poop, or try to race me to see who could finish first. This was all very entertaining to her. But at that point in my life, and even a little bit now, pooping in public restrooms, even at home is a very mentally frustrating process. One I didn’t want much to share with others. Or still don’t want to share. Why don’t people close the door when they shit? At the very least. Oh hey turn the fan on too…
The fart. It was one of those farts you try to conceal in a couch cushion, and end up rumbling the whole damn couch kind of farts.
I’ve had some bad gas before. I can’t recall farting during sex. It never bothered me that she’d fart during sex.
But I know for sure I’ve woken some folks up with farts before. Not a one enjoyed that happening. Not that I can recall. Especially the silent ones, you can’t laugh off a silent fart that wakes you up with the old let’s seal your body off with the blankets and see if that helps technique…Sometimes you can mutually laugh off a rumbler. Sometimes.
Anyway…
So yeah, vibrators. This stuff was confusing to me. I’d seen and heard about vibrators. But only in the sense that they were extremely sexy. You know, because, porn is so vanilla and women using them in videos were wholesome…smiling or chewing bubble gum, and happy and everything was so fresh and so clean… clean? Those videos are wrong. Lies.
I guess I had been tricked in to thinking others pleasure was my own to have. Whoops.
Well…Anyways…
None of this is a bad thing. I just wish I would have had some warning.
Like a, hey I’m about to masturbate and fart on you. I was never told. So I had to jump in to the situation. It was unsolicited…
I might be a magnet for other folks unsolicited close proximity…to myself… masturbation. Especially when I was younger. I should write about all those other times.
This happened with friends.
This happened a few times. With us.
I’d wake up, confused…and all like yo…
It wasn’t like I could just move to another side of the bed either. I had futon bed. It was the shittiest of the futon beds too. I had fucked it apart. High school shenanigans. It did this weird thing where it would fold up on its own. In to this taco shape, unless two people slept on either absolute edge of the bed to keep it from folding up.
So through the process of her diddling…not derogatory…she had inadvertently rolled the bed in to the taco.
It’s definitely a thing. A commotion. A waking commotion.
Not for it.
Once she wanted me to watch…. I thought it was really interesting. A first for me.
I’m certain the farting killed anything enjoyable for me though.
Afterwards I didn’t think much of it and we went on about our business.
So much like pooping…I guess I’ll keep masturbation a personal thing for myself. Might be selfish, but it seems like a personal thing anyway… Maybe I’m wrong.
Narnia?
Well...Anyways 