Originally written 12/2/14…
This morning. 4 in the A.M.
I was sleeping.
I woke up to the sound of laughter. Then more laughter. Then yelling. Then some more laughter. Then at least 4,223 curse words.
I go to the window and observe 3 dudes outside regaling one another with tales of how “hard” and “how much gangster shit people don’t even know about going down in downtown Charleston, SC”. “Charlotte isn’t shit”.
I think. To myself. Then out loud to my dog. “Man it must be a hard knock life…down there with all those pastel town homes and basket weaving folks, fresh affordable seafood, and cobbled roads.”
Dingo Marvin (my dog), gives no shits about this conversation and lays back down.
These dudes keep talking.
I put pants on (gotta have pants). Go outside, stand on my porch. Mean mugging these dudes from 25 feet. They all look at me. But keep talking about how hard it is in basketweavingtown USA.
Couple minutes.
I move to stand about a foot from these dudes, and say nothing.
Blank staring.
5 minutes.
They explain,”crazy ass you’re weirding us out”.
They leave.
I go inside.
Master of awkwardness achieved.
Narnia.
Well...Anyways 