The women I love is sick.
I’m not. For once.
Some flu like shit I guess. Medicine cocktails had been had. Hade. She’s doing much better now.
As you can imagine, I searched the internet in hopes of finding a way to do some things after a long day that would put her at ease.
Can i get the flu from eating pussy?
I realized how ridiculous the search was..but then again, all my searches are on the ridiculous side. Here are a few of the last searches I did….Google logs all this shit….
- Old Testament Evil Bible
- is lenny kravitz a homosexual
- kill people burn shit fuck school
- Wanker definition
- rick springfield
- Fukuoku 9000 Fingertip Personal Massager
- interpersonal communication
- kenny rogers chicken
- orgy fundraisers at the vatican
- what is a ghetto booty
Anyways…
It reminded me of a time in my life where I didn’t have information readily available to explain things like…What “69-ing” was. In the 6th grade.
6th grade was an awful period of my life. Having just move’t from San Jose kalifornikia to Harrisburg NORTH CAROLINA…but having missed out on all the cool kid shit in CA that everyone in nascar-land USA expects of a person, I was constantly in a state of confusion. Other kids were persistent in their interpretation of what living in CA is like and how communication works between humans.
Homie. Home piece. Bro. My nigga. Wassup family. Oh and more….but try and say these phrases as a pre or non pre ( ? ) pubescent teen. High pitched voices. They’d throw their hands around or about whilst saying said things. One claimed to have started a gang called the thunderbirds. Sure yeah….just like in the movie GREASE? Most claimed to be bloods, wearing their dads old flannel, complete with the stench of Winston cigarettes. These racing fuel fumed idiots would trade ballads of bone thugs in harmony and criticize me for not knowing the lyrics.
Dude I listen to NWA.
“Who’s NWA, isn’t that planes or something”
Sure, it’s hella planes or something.
“Dude??? Hella??? What are you some sort of surfer”
Sure.
Anyway.
I missed out on a lot of lingo back in the day. I didn’t watch MTV, or hang out with kids that were “gangster” or really anyone who didn’t still love legos and playing NES all day. I didn’t curse, hadn’t ever even seen drugs, didn’t understand sex…I was sheltered, naive even.
6th grade. English class. Mrs. Blanton? Blanchard? Bla blah blah…
Some of these kids start talking, they’re sitting on either side of me, and I quickly find myself asking what the hell exactly they’re talking about. I didn’t understand the lingo.
The teacher interrupts my inquiry.
Something like this..
“Mr. InsertLastNameHere, why are you talking?”
I was asking them what they were talking about.
“What are they talking about?”
I don’t know. Something about doing a 69.
:Her jaw hits the floor:
I don’t what that is…so I asked…what they were…
:silence:
Do you know what it is Mrs. blah blah blah? What’s 69-ing?
“Out of my room, go to the office.”
So I get in school suspension for a day. Which sucked. All the bad kids sat in there and bullshitted all day and if normal kids show up they literally get tortured and have to do crazy amounts of work.
My mother was pissed and asked me where I learned “that language”. I still didn’t know what it meant. I was told it was disgusting and not to talk about it.
Anyways…
About 3 years later on my way to go fishing, I knocked on the door of my parents room and I could have sworn I heard someone say come in.
Someone probably said “I’m coming” now that I think of it though.
So I went in. She was right, 69-ing was disgusting. Well at least what I saw was anyway.
Well…Anyways…
It’s not totally improbable that you could get the flu from eating pussy. But most doctors and PA’s agree that it’s extremely safe as long as there’s no kissing on the mouth, and you limit your physical contact to the area/region in question.
She’s feeling much better.
Well...Anyways 