So I called my Mom last night to make Christmas plans. Before talking about any of that, I told her about the first time I saw a black dick when I was 8 or 9. Or something.
Hey she asked…“Tell me about this urinal in Arkansas story, how come I don’t know about this”. She seemed very curious…or concerned.
I remember it. Something anyway…
So yeah. Growing up at some point it was decided that we (my mother, brother, myself and a pissed off orange cat) would all move to Santa Rosa, California and then to San Jose.I didn’t really want to move. But we did. San Jose…Which is where a lot of hilarious shit happened. I lit pretty much an entire park on fire, got beat up for NOT buying drugs, swam in the ocean and even used AOL for the first time. It wasn’t so bad really. I learned how to smash my balls into anything, as long as I did it on wheels…bikes, roller-blades, skateboards. School was way more relaxed compared to NC standards….And the teachers did drugs, probably more than the students. If they weren’t doing drugs during class (they called it outdoor meditation) they were doing insane shit like beating kids up or molesting them. It wasn’t so so bad. We had a pool and a hot tub. That was rad.
Anyways.
Moving to CA from NC consisted of cramming tons of shit into a huge truck, including a pissed off nonstop yowling cat. Then driving said truck across the country.
Well we stopped at this truck stop. My brother and I get out to investigate what flavor of condoms they had in the bathroom vending machine. If we were lucky they’d have glow in the dark ones too.
I guess my brother got away from me in all the excitement that is truck stop soda and candy aisles. I get to the bathroom. Stand in front of a urinal. Pee.
Now as a 8 maybe 9 year dude, and I was a dude, when you pee….when you finally pee and release that expertly held pee that you’ve sworn you’re just gonna skip the rest stop break now and brave it for… because you only have to search 3 more screens of grass to cut on ocarina of time….you can’t stop the stream. You can’t stop the stream when you’re a kid. Ever.
Anyways. This truck driver comes through the door like he was Mr. Kool Aid and everybody by the pool had to have some (foreshadowing: not racist). He made tons of noise getting in there. His dick was already out and he was on a mission. This guy probably had cut all screens of grass twice in ocarina of time and still not taken a piss.
This truck driver dudes dick was out. It was like a four packs of Necco chocolate wafers strapped together.
This dude pushed me out of the way and announces..”Get outta the way I gotta go baaaad”.
I pee on the wall. You can’t stop the stream when you’re a kid.
Well anyways…
I feel like I told my mom about this and she cussed this dude out profusely. Seems likely. Hell she damn near held a .357 to the next trucker we came across outside Albuquerque.
And that was the first black dick I ever saw. I saw another one some years later. That guy was full on nude. He needed a condom. I didn’t have any. That was the last black dick I ever saw. I was 18.
Well...Anyways 